My Story

From Rock Bottom to Mastering Modern Dating.

I hit my first heartbreak early on, and I had no clue how to handle it. The pain knocked the wind out of me and sent me spiraling.

I numbed it the only way I knew how: drugs, partying, and reckless choices. That path nearly cost me my life.

You’d think a close brush with death would be a wake-up call. Instead, I shifted gears. I quit the hard partying and buried myself in work, grinding non-stop.

I landed a solid job in San Diego, got my own place, and even started dating someone I thought was “the one.” But I still hadn’t faced what was really going on inside.

The old chaos crept back in, and within months, everything I’d built—my relationship, my routine, and my sense of self—came crashing down.

I found myself back at square one: living in a spare room at a family member’s house, drinking daily, and mentally spiraling.

One night, after blacking out from too much rum, I wokeup with a single thought: “Who would want to date me?”

That question cut deeper than I expected. And it sparked something I couldn’t ignore.

Desperate for change, I dove headfirst into self development. I wasn’t just hunting for dating tips.

I needed to understand why breakups leveled me, why I kept self-sabotaging, and how to rebuild from the inside out.

I read every book I could, combed through forums, and joined a local men’s group full of guys just like me.

We were confused, curious, and determined to grow.

We weren’t chasing gimmicks. We were chasing truth.

Before long, I found myself running events as a full-time club promoter.

These events quickly turned into a living, breathing lab for social dynamics.

Men traveled from across the country to test their skills.

I wasn’t just the host—I became their coach in real time, offering feedback, sharing insights, and refining our methods together.

Something clicked that summer.

For the first time, women were pursuing me.

I wasn’t chasing anymore. I had presence, confidence, and real momentum.

Then a friend invited me to speak at a major industry event. It was one of the top gatherings of dating coaches.

Most speakers were there to teach men how to meet women. My wingman and I showed up with women already by our side.

We weren’t selling a theory. We were living the result.

It wasn’t about flexing. It was proof the approach actually worked. And in that moment, I realized just how many so called “gurus” talk a big game but don’t live it.

That event opened the floodgates. Invitations to speak at summits and conventions started coming in, and I used those platforms not just to share—but to refine.

Behind the scenes, I was rigorously testing everything: profile formats, texting sequences, first-date frameworks.

I turned a couple of casual dates a week into three to five quality dates weekly, all while holding down a full-time job.

I even ran an experiment to go on seven dates in seven days… and ended up on eight.

No burnout. No games. Just systems that deliver.

As dating apps evolved, so did my methods. I began offering one-on-one mentorships, helping men craft magnetic profiles, navigate tricky texting situations, and confidently ask for the date.

Word spread that my “Online Game” was the best in the business.

I’ve since worked with clients all over the world, sharing real-world strategies that work in every culture.

Over the years, I’ve authored guides like Texting Girls Dissected, Get Dates in 45 Minutes, and Texting 2.2: 200+ Texts to Up Your Dating Game. I’ve spoken at every major summit I could get to.

Today, with well over a decade of hands-on experience in dating, social dynamics, and communication, my mission is simple:

To help men take back control of their dating lives through strategy, authenticity, and real-world tactics.

I’ve been where you are. If I could climb out of that place and build a life full of genuine connection and confidence, so can you.

— Jarod Oner
Founder, Man of Choice
Dating Strategist | Online Dating Expert | Speaker