I know I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again. Dating is a rough sport. It also doesn’t help if you’re trying to improve this area of your life by yourself with nobody around you except your regular group of friends.
My friends would always question me about why I’m always going out and reading about dating but you know what? Those exact same people are the ones who come to me for advice now, so this is why finding a core group to hang with is a must.
Yes, your close friends can help to a certain extent but if you’re trying to get this handled and handled right you need the “right” people around you.
Today I’m writing about this topic because if you have these key four people in your life when trying to get better with women, your dating life not only will improve, but you will improve faster than trying to do this on your own.
The title says it all. I’m writing about the 4 types of people you need in your dating life so you can improve yourself.
Here they are.
Why having the right people around you makes dating improvement happen faster
When you’re trying to improve with women, there are two things that slow most men down.
The first is isolation. You’re doing everything in your own head. You’re guessing. You’re overthinking. You’re making the same mistakes because nobody is there to point them out.
The second is emotional whiplash. One good night makes you feel unstoppable. One rejection makes you question everything. One flake makes you think dating apps are pointless. One bad date makes you want to “take a break.” When you’re alone, you ride every outcome like it’s the truth.
That’s why having the right circle matters.
You don’t need a giant friend group. You need a small group of people who actually get what you’re working on and are willing to help you grow. And the best part is, when you build this, dating becomes less heavy. It becomes more normal. It becomes fun again.
If you have these four types of people in your life, you’ll build momentum faster and keep it longer.
What is a dating support system?
A dating support system is a small network of people who help you improve your dating life through feedback, accountability, and shared experience. It usually includes a mentor, a wingman, a crew, and a mentee. The purpose is to speed up your learning curve, keep you consistent, and help you stay confident when dating gets rough.
A lot of guys think “support system” sounds soft. Like it’s therapy. It’s not.
A dating support system is a practical tool. It helps you do two things that matter in dating:
- Take more action
- Learn faster from what happens
When you’re alone, you can talk yourself out of action. When you have the right people around you, you take reps. And reps are what build confidence, skill, and results.
The 4 Types of People You Need in Your Dating Life
Type 1: Mentor
Type 2: Wingman
Type 3: Crew
Type 4: Mentee
Let’s break them down.
Type 1. Mentor
Yes, find a mentor. If you want to improve and you are having trouble with a certain topic or are hitting a rough patch with sticking points, you can ask your mentor. That’s what they are there for, to help you when you need it.
Do they need to be a world class dating coach or have a PhD in psychology? No, they just have to be better than you in the subjects of dating and women.
I myself was already speaking at seminars and coaching for a few years and one year after a breakup I decided that I needed that extra “push” to get back into the swing of things and found myself one. Hell, I went as far as moving in with my mentor and during that time I learned a lot.
Now I’m not saying to go as extreme as me but get yourself a mentor, you’ll enjoy being able to ask questions when you need it.
What a mentor helps you fix that you can’t see on your own
A mentor helps you see patterns you’re blind to.
Most men don’t struggle because they’re doomed. They struggle because they keep repeating the same handful of mistakes without realizing it. A mentor can spot those mistakes in minutes.
Examples:
- You might think you’re being “nice,” but you’re actually being vague and indecisive.
- You might think you’re “being yourself,” but your vibe is anxious and approval-seeking.
- You might think your texts are playful, but they read like an interview.
- You might think your profile is solid, but your photos don’t communicate confidence.
A mentor saves you time because he gives you a shortcut to the truth. And in dating, truth is leverage.
How to choose a mentor that actually improves your results
Here’s the simplest filter.
Find someone who has real outcomes in the areas you want outcomes. Not just confidence. Not just “theory.” Real results.
Then ask yourself:
- Do they take action consistently?
- Do they communicate clearly?
- Do they give honest feedback or only hype?
- Do they have standards or do they blame women for everything?
The wrong mentor will fill your head with excuses. The right mentor will raise your standards and make you sharper.
If you can find a mentor who gives you direct feedback, it will change your entire trajectory.
Type 2. Wingman
You’re going to need a partner in crime and finding a good wingman is how you will do this. I always tell my clients that they need to find one. I make it homework for them. You can do this through FB groups, forums, seminars, or weekly meetups.
Wingmen are great since you can help push one another to improve and do better. Always making games out of approaching and meeting women. Doing silly things like “leapfrogging,” meaning, you talk to a girl then your wing talks to a girl and so on.
Nothing more fun than having a girl diss your friend and then you go in to try and talk to her right after to see if she’s bitchy to you too, lol.
Wings make meeting women fun. If you’re not having fun with your wing, find a new one.
Another great thing about having a wing is that you two can critique one another and let each other know what you think they’re doing right or wrong.
Why a wingman removes the biggest killer of progress
Here’s what most guys don’t want to admit.
The biggest killer of progress is hesitation.
You see the girl. You think about it. You wait. You overthink. You tell yourself you’ll do it “in a second.” Then she moves, her friends show up, the moment changes, and you don’t do it.
A wingman breaks that loop.
Because now you’re not just relying on motivation. You have accountability.
You’re also less likely to bail because it’s not just “you versus your fear” anymore. It’s you taking reps with a partner who’s also taking reps.
And over time, that shared momentum builds something important: certainty.
Not fake confidence. Not hype. Certainty that you can handle the outcome.
How to make going out feel fun instead of stressful
This is why wings are so powerful. They turn the night into reps and games, not pressure.
Leapfrogging is one example.
Another example is setting simple challenges:
- “First three interactions are warmups. No pressure, just reps.”
- “We each open one set before we order a drink.”
- “We each do one direct compliment tonight.”
- “We each talk to one group, not just a solo girl.”
You’re not doing this to be robotic. You’re doing it to keep yourself moving.
Because momentum is what makes dating easier.
Type 3. Crew
This necessarily isn’t a “person” but the type of people that are down to improve are what you want in your life.
I belonged to a dating “crew.” Yes, they do have those, lol. Every week a group of us would meet up at a friend’s house, talk dating, dating science and strategies to meet women and right after we would leave and go out into the nightlife and meet women.
It was great.
The best part about it all was that a lot of us actually became friends so it wasn’t like we would meet up with a bunch of strangers and then go out into the clubs, we actually knew one another.
This is another great way to get critiqued on your game and everything about you from your clothing style to how you come off towards people.
Remember that thing I was talking about with your wingman and getting denied by a girl and then you approach? You can do this with your crew as well, lol. If one girl’s mean, you go in and then another crew member approaches and so on. It’s hilarious to see how many guys get shot down or who actually wins her over.
Again, making this dating stuff fun.
What a crew gives you that you cannot get anywhere else
A crew gives you range.
With one wingman, you get consistency and reps. With a crew, you get feedback from different angles and different strengths.
One guy notices your posture and how you enter a venue.
Another guy notices your tonality when you flirt.
Another guy notices you hesitate and ask permission too much.
Another guy notices you’re dressing safe and blending in.
And if multiple guys point out the same thing, it’s probably the thing you need to fix.
A crew also keeps you grounded.
When you’re around men who are improving, you stop treating dating like some mysterious thing. You see the process. You see the reps. You see the mistakes and the wins. That normalizes growth.
How to build a crew even if you’re starting from zero
You don’t need ten guys. You can start with two and grow.
Here’s a practical approach:
- Find one wingman first
- Add one more guy who’s serious
- Meet once a week for 45 to 60 minutes
- Then go out and take action
Where do you find them?
- Facebook groups
- local meetups
- seminars
- forums
- mutual friends who want to improve
The key is this: don’t recruit complainers. Recruit doers.
You want men who are willing to take action, learn, and laugh about it.
Type 4. Mentee
Well, you have a mentor, so why not mentor someone that’s not as good as you?
Do you have to be a stellar dater? No, you just have to be a little better than the person that you’re helping out.
You will learn a lot from teaching someone else the things you know about approaching and meeting women. Sometimes breaking down situations and topics isn’t as easy as it seems until you have to explain it in detail.
Plus, giving back is always a plus. Karma is only a bitch if you do a bunch of negative things, so be positive and give back.
I’m sure you’ve thought to yourself, “Man I wish I had someone to show me this when I was new.”
Trust me when I say your mentee will greatly appreciate it.
Why having a mentee levels you up faster than you’d expect
This one surprises people.
Mentoring someone forces you to get clear.
When you teach, you can’t hide behind vague ideas. You have to explain what to do, why it works, and what to avoid. That makes your own thinking sharper.
It also forces you to lead by example.
If you tell a guy, “Go take reps,” you can’t be the guy who’s avoiding reps. Your standards rise because your identity rises.
And there’s another benefit: gratitude.
Most men remember what it felt like to be new and lost. Helping someone skip the worst parts of that struggle is a good feeling. It keeps you positive and focused.
How to mentor without getting drained
Keep it simple.
- One check-in per week
- One goal for the week
- One short debrief
You’re not trying to raise them. You’re just helping them.
And if they don’t take action, you don’t chase them. A mentee should make you sharper, not exhausted.
Why do the people around you affect your dating life?
The people around you affect your dating life because they influence your standards, your confidence, and your consistency. If your circle normalizes action, self-improvement, and honest feedback, you improve faster. If your circle avoids dating growth or makes fun of it, you hesitate more and stay stuck longer.
This is the part a lot of guys miss.
Dating isn’t just “what you know.” It’s what you do consistently.
And consistency is mostly environment.
If your environment makes it normal to stay in, you’ll stay in.
If your environment makes it normal to take action, you’ll take action.
That’s why these four roles matter.
They create an environment where improvement happens naturally.
How to improve your dating life faster starting this week
To improve your dating life faster, build a small support system that includes a mentor for guidance, a wingman for accountability, a crew for feedback, and a mentee to sharpen your standards. Then schedule weekly reps, review what happened, and keep the process fun so you stay consistent.
Here’s the simple action plan.
- Find one wingman
One guy who is serious and consistent beats five guys who are flaky. - Schedule two to three weekly nights out
Three nights per week is enough to create momentum. - Get feedback from someone better than you
That’s a mentor, a coach, or a guy in your circle with real results. - Build a small crew over time
Add one or two people who are doers. - Teach one person what you’ve learned
It will sharpen your standards and keep you accountable.
If you do this, your dating life improves faster because your environment improves first.
Talk to you soon,
Jarod